One of my aims for yesterday was to sit down and think about some small changes I could make in my life that would be good for my health. I had been talking to N about my weight and how, since I have so much to lose (over half my body weight), it seems like an insurmountable task – it seems nigh impossible to visualise how I could actually lose that much weight, or how big the changes in my life would have to be, to enable that weight loss.
It may sound stupid, but it is as if there is a voice in my head telling me that I would have to stop eating altogether, in order to lose that much weight. Rationally, I know that this is not true – and in fact, what I need to do is to change my diet so that I lose weight slowly and gradually – a pound or so a week would be ideal. Doing that, it would take me somewhere approaching two years to get down to a weight I would be happy with – though maybe my goal isn’t realistic, and actually I would stop short of that, and would still be happy – and healthier.
Anyway, I am going to make a start by changing some small things. None of them will have a huge impact on my weight or my calorie intake, but I am hoping they will make me feel a little bit more in control of myself and my appetite, and will foster a bit more of a can-do attitude.
So – my list of small things to change has four things on it so far:
– only eat cakes/sweets/chocolate/treats at the weekend.
– stop having a pint of high juice blackcurrant to drink over night each night, and have water instead.
– use less butter on bread/toast/baked potatoes etc.
– do some housework (that will burn the odd calorie) each week.
The other things that hold me back from losing weight are apathy, lack of motivation, and not really liking myself very much, if at all. I think that, if I really liked myself, I might be more motivated to look after myself. So I will work on that too.