By which I mean there are some small changes I am still managing to keep up with, and others that have slid, for the moment. I didn’t get up until 11am this morning – I just couldn’t prise myself out from under the duvet. But when I did get up, I sorted out the pile of clothes that have been looking accusingly at me from my chair in the bedroom, hung up some things, and put the rest through the wash – and I sorted out the tops that needed treating with stain remover because they had fat stains on them. And whilst I succumbed to cake yesterday and today, I have not had a glass of blackcurrant at bedtime for ages.
It has been a miserable, grey and rainy day here – and cold too. I am really hoping we get a decent summer this year – sunny weather lifts my spirits and makes everything a bit easier to cope with, whilst this sort of weather just reflects back the greyness and miserableness in my spirit, and makes it so much harder to cope with.
I know I am more gloomy because I am tired – I have had two late nights, and haven’t slept desperately well, and I could do with some early nights – but that is easier said than done – I am not good at doing what my body needs me to do, when it comes to early nights. Though I am better at listening to it when it is telling me to lie-in in the morning. Strange, that.
In October, I am going to Knutsford, to meet up with the class that I did my nurse training with – it will be 30 years to the day since the October ’83 I/C (Introductory Course) first met at Manchester Royal Infirmary. I am going to be the fattest person there. I was the fattest in my group, and that has never changed – which depresses me. I don’t know if any of them judge me, but I judge me, so I am going to try to lose some weight before October. Being the fattest person there would be a bit easier if I could say I had lost X pounds/stone. But that does mean I am going to have to be stricter with the small changes, and I am going to have to change my diet habits – more salad/veg/fruit and less processes/fatty foods. It would help if it were a nice summer, so we could have lots of salads – I honestly didn’t feel like making or eating many salads last summer, because it was so cold, wet and miserable.