Swings and roundabouts.

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By which I mean there are some small changes I am still managing to keep up with, and others that have slid, for the moment.  I didn’t get up until 11am this morning – I just couldn’t prise myself out from under the duvet.  But when I did get up, I sorted out the pile of clothes that have been looking accusingly at me from my chair in the bedroom, hung up some things, and put the rest through the wash – and I sorted out the tops that needed treating with stain remover because they had fat stains on them.  And whilst I succumbed to cake yesterday and today, I have not had a glass of blackcurrant at bedtime for ages.

It has been a miserable, grey and rainy day here – and cold too.  I am really hoping we get a decent summer this year – sunny weather lifts my spirits and makes everything a bit easier to cope with, whilst this sort of weather just reflects back the greyness and miserableness in my spirit, and makes it so much harder to cope with.

I know I am more gloomy because I am tired – I have had two late nights, and haven’t slept desperately well, and I could do with some early nights – but that is easier said than done – I am not good at doing what my body needs me to do, when it comes to early nights.  Though I am better at listening to it when it is telling me to lie-in in the morning.  Strange, that.

In October, I am going to Knutsford, to meet up with the class that I did my nurse training with – it will be 30 years to the day since the October ’83 I/C (Introductory Course) first met at Manchester Royal Infirmary.  I am going to be the fattest person there.  I was the fattest in my group, and that has never changed – which depresses me.  I don’t know if any of them judge me, but I judge me, so I am going to try to lose some weight before October.  Being the fattest person there would be a bit easier if I could say I had lost X pounds/stone.  But that does mean I am going to have to be stricter with the small changes, and I am going to have to change my diet habits – more salad/veg/fruit and less processes/fatty foods.  It would help if it were a nice summer, so we could have lots of salads – I honestly didn’t feel like making or eating many salads last summer, because it was so cold, wet and miserable.

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About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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