Swings and roundabouts.


By which I mean there are some small changes I am still managing to keep up with, and others that have slid, for the moment.  I didn’t get up until 11am this morning – I just couldn’t prise myself out from under the duvet.  But when I did get up, I sorted out the pile of clothes that have been looking accusingly at me from my chair in the bedroom, hung up some things, and put the rest through the wash – and I sorted out the tops that needed treating with stain remover because they had fat stains on them.  And whilst I succumbed to cake yesterday and today, I have not had a glass of blackcurrant at bedtime for ages.

It has been a miserable, grey and rainy day here – and cold too.  I am really hoping we get a decent summer this year – sunny weather lifts my spirits and makes everything a bit easier to cope with, whilst this sort of weather just reflects back the greyness and miserableness in my spirit, and makes it so much harder to cope with.

I know I am more gloomy because I am tired – I have had two late nights, and haven’t slept desperately well, and I could do with some early nights – but that is easier said than done – I am not good at doing what my body needs me to do, when it comes to early nights.  Though I am better at listening to it when it is telling me to lie-in in the morning.  Strange, that.

In October, I am going to Knutsford, to meet up with the class that I did my nurse training with – it will be 30 years to the day since the October ’83 I/C (Introductory Course) first met at Manchester Royal Infirmary.  I am going to be the fattest person there.  I was the fattest in my group, and that has never changed – which depresses me.  I don’t know if any of them judge me, but I judge me, so I am going to try to lose some weight before October.  Being the fattest person there would be a bit easier if I could say I had lost X pounds/stone.  But that does mean I am going to have to be stricter with the small changes, and I am going to have to change my diet habits – more salad/veg/fruit and less processes/fatty foods.  It would help if it were a nice summer, so we could have lots of salads – I honestly didn’t feel like making or eating many salads last summer, because it was so cold, wet and miserable.


About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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