Tired and pissed off.

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I had such a good morning – I went to the Tramway Arts centre in Glasgow, and met up with two other mumsnetters, and we had a lovely few hours knitting, chatting – and celebrity spotting (Frankie Boyle was there with his son, and Matthew Bourne was rehearsing his new production upstairs).  It was a lovely sunny day – with some excitement, good friends, some admiration for the sandwiches I’d knitted, and then a nice drive home.

Unfortunately I got home with a headache, but took some neurofen, which helped – and then N and I made the menu for next week, and the shopping list, and went down to Port Glasgow to do the shopping.  All OK so far, apart from the headache.  The shopping went well, and so did most of the drive home – I was drivelling on about ‘what would we do if we won squillions on the lottery’, and N was playing along with this, until suddenly he turned, and cut off the discussion point blank, with a reference to how all he wants is to be at the end of the boys’ university educations without having gone broke.

FGS – I know he is stressed about money and about the boys’ maintenance fees – I don’t need reminding.  This was just cloud-cuckooland talk, pointless meanderings to pass the time during the journey home.  It didn’t mean I’d forgotten the realities of life, or that I am so stupid I needed reminding.

I am feeling so cross right now – absolutely furious, and burning with resentment at having been, as I see it, slapped down verbally by N.  It’s not the first time he has brutally cut off a conversation, and I hate it so much.  It seems really disrespectful – I wouldn’t dream of doing that to someone – let alone someone I love and respect, so why is it OK for him to do it to me?

I was feeling so good – the knitted sandwiches crafting project was making me happy, and I was feeling really positive, and this seems to have destroyed all that – for no good reason that I can see.  I just want to go to sleep and not wake up.  It would be easier all round.

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About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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