Tired and disheartened.


Choir rehearsal didn’t go too well tonight.  I am struggling to sing C above middle C – which should be within my range as an alto, and certainly used to be well within my range, as a mezzo soprano, but my range seems to have dropped, and no matter what I do, I can’t sing those notes and going further up to E natural is even worse in some ways.  I know I am tensing up when I see them coming, and either nothing comes out, or the most horrible, strangulated sounds imaginable.  I used to be a trained singer, and range-wise, I am being totally outsung by amateurs with no singing training at all, and that is intensely depressing.  To the extent where I am seriously questioning my future with the choir.

I don’t know what to do.

Other than that, today was pretty good – knitting group was fun, as usual; I remembered to go to the Post Office and post a couple of parcels, and then got supper organised in good time before choir.

I did go on to make the red velvet skirt yesterday – and it is the worst piece of dressmaking I have ever done, because I had to bodge it together.  There wasn’t enough fabric in the skirt to make a separate waistband, so I pleated it to fit me, zigzag edged round the top, and then just turned it over once, before hand stitching it down.  That, plus the fact that I have never actually used my sewing machine for doing any dressmaking before, and I didn’t bother to find the instructions before I started sewing, means I made a total lash up of this skirt.  But all the lashed up bits are on the inside and don’t show, and the skirt fits and stays up, so I am counting it as a success.  And I have left the machine out, so I may go on and make something else this week – perhaps cushion covers, or perhaps one of the skirts (a cotton one, I think – one that I don’t need a pattern for).


About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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