Monthly Archives: May 2013

Aside

Today is a better day.  To start with, I slept well last night (by taking an over the counter sleeping medication, but still, good sleep is good sleep), and woke up feeling more positive.  I have also managed to resist temptation, in the form of No3 son suggesting a trip to McDonalds (to celebrate finishing his exams).  Yes, they do sell salad, but I know full well that I would not order a salad, I would end up with a big Mac meal (full of squillions of calories) – so I said No to No3 son, and am going to have fresh asparagus for lunch instead.

I’ve also had a bumper post today – a book on drawing zentangles, two chiffon scarves to try nuno felting with, and the Diabetic cooking for Dummies book that I ordered – so there are good things in the future for me.

 

Oh – and yesterday, Coco the brown labrador did her bit to cheer me up by making off with a kilo of flour from the kitchen work top.  I caught up with her in the garden, where she was trying to eat the flour, and was clearly wondering why her mouth was full of glue!  Her muzzle was covered in flour, and so was one paw, so she’d clearly stepped in it at some point too.  Things like this are why I can’t imagine a life without dogs now.

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Today is a better day.  To start with,

Tiredness.

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Comes up a lot in my blog, I know – but it seems to be an omnipresent factor in my life.  It doesn’t seem to matter how well I sleep – I am still tired – but then the nights when I sleep badly, it is even worse.  I’m not sleeping well at the moment – I’ve still got the cold I had a couple of weeks ago, and it has developed into a tickly, mucus-y (sorry) cough that really bugs me at night.  Last night I was up twice, having to sit in the bathroom coughing for 25 – 20 minutes, until the tickle went away.

Then I was awake again, because I get night sweats, and not content with throwing one problem at me to spoil my sleep, my body decided to throw another thing too – so I woke up hot and clammy and feeling horrible.  And to top it all off, I had a nightmare – I dreamed that my dad and I had a huge row, and after I had gone home, he went out in the car and had a bad accident, and my mum rang me to say he was in Intensive Care.  I had to go and collect my sister, and rush to dad’s bedside.  This dream made me feel bad for several reasons – firstly because my dad died in 2000, and I still miss him – and dreaming something so upsetting about him was horrible.  Then secondly, in the dream, I was blaming myself for his accident and for how badly injured he was.  I don’t know why that all came up out of my subconscious – it’s not like dad and I had argued before he died, and though he did die suddenly, it wasn’t a road traffic accident – it was heart failure as a result of his ill health.

Today I am just so weary that I can’t be bothered to do anything at all.  I have got the fabric to make the rest of the cushion covers, and I’ve got some beautiful patchwork fabric that was given away at knitting group this week, that I could make other cushion covers with.  Plus I have a sweater and the blanket to be getting on with – and I just cannot find the energy.

I’m getting myself in a state about the diabetes thing too – I just can’t work out how to go about changing my diet – well, the family’s diet, in fact – to lose the weight and tackle the diabetes.  Losing weight, for me, suggests a low fat diet, with a moderate amount of carbs, but, if I have got it right, a diabetic diet means reducing the carbs and having a moderate amount of fat in the diet – and I suspect that neither of those is actually correct, and I am just so confused.  I can’t imagine being without carbs – they do form a significant part of my diet.  Avoiding sugar seems harder the more I look at it too – does it mean no fruit juice, or just a tiny bit, and what other drinks are allowed/forbidden?  To be honest, water seems the only safe option, but that is pretty boring, even if fizzy.

My MIL is sending me a diabetic cook book – maybe that will give me some ideas – if I can find the energy to care enough to carry out any of them is another thing altogether.

No need to blurt everything out.

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I realised today that I don’t actually have to tell everyone that I have developed type 2 diabetes.  This should have been obvious to me, but it wasn’t.  So, instead of telling everyone, and worrying that they are judging me, and thinking that I brought it on myself, I can tell only a few people, who I trust, and just get on quietly with the business of losing weight and tackling the diabetes.

Low carb appears to be the way to go – alongside low fat – though I have had conflicting advice on that.  My own take on it is that cutting out the refined carbs, sticking to complex, low GI carbs, and eating more veg, whilst at the same time cutting down on the amount of fat in my diet (much fewer creamy/cheesy sauces, taking visible fat off meat, dry frying etc, and reducing the amount of butter I use) would seem to be the best way to go.

I will be seeing the GP in a fortnight or so, when I have had a second fasting blood test, and I assume I will get more information then – and maybe a referral to the diabetic nurse for more advice.  Until then, I will concentrate on eating sensibly and trying to lose some weight.

Oh dear.

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Apparently I have type 2 diabetes – developed because of my obesity, I assume.  The GP rang this morning with the results of last week’s blood test, and gave me the glad tidings.  To be honest, I am blaming myself, and assuming that everyone else will be thinking I deserved it for being such a fatty.

Still, the good news is that it is very treatable, and if I lose weight, there is a good chance that it will go away again – so low fat, high fibre, low sugar diet, here I come.  And the cutting down on sugar that I have been doing recently is a move in the right direction, but is going to have to go further – cakes, sweets etc are going to be just for special occasions – though I don’t think I have to be quite as strict about that as I would if I had insulin-dependent diabetes.

It has made me feel a bit blue, though.

Monday – fun, productive but terrible weather!

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As befits a British Bank Holiday, it is cold and very wet today.  There was a tentative plan for N and the dogs to come over to knitting group with me, and we’d have a cup of coffee outside, before they walked home – but the weather scotched that one!  So I went off to knitting on my own, and had a very good morning, despite a bit of a headache.  I’ve mastered a new crochet granny square, and made it in three different colour combinations, and I made a square out of four smaller squares sewn together – I can see the variety of pieces for my patchwork blanket really starting to accumulate now.  Of course, if I did more crocheting during the week, I would be making even more progress, but hey ho.

One of the ladies brought a friend to the group today – who had a big bag full of patchwork fabric she wanted to give away, so I have come home with a lovely selection of fabrics, and am going to have a go at patchwork – and when I get my darning foot (for my machine) I will have a go at quilting too!  I will make some more cushion covers, I think.

I am afraid this is going to be another short entry – my brain has entirely seized up, and I can’t think of anything inspiring – or even vaguely interesting – to say – so I am going to tuck myself up on the couch with a hot drink, and have a relaxing afternoon.  I might do some more crochet – who knows!

A good Sunday.

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Yesterday was a lovely day – the weather was beautiful, and our day out on Rothsay was wonderful.  The church who hosted us were so welcoming – they picked us up from the ferry, made us lunch, 50 of them came to the concert, and they made delicious cakes for afterwards.  The concert went really well too – partly, I am sure, due to the really good vibes from the audience.

The meal in Wemyss Bay was great too – good food, great company and a good end to the season.

Today was good too – though I was very tired indeed.  We took C up to Glasgow for his train, and then N and I went to Braehead and had lunch in Prezzo – and I followed that up with a snuggly afternoon on the couch, broken up by a visit from a beautiful golden retriever who came to play!  Add to that the fact that I have the latest Dan Brown and the latest Nora Roberts to read, and that all adds up to a good day.

To Rothsay.

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It’s our choir summer outing today – we are going over to Rothsay, on the Isle of Bute, to give a concert at a church there, and afterwards we will come back to Wemyss Bay, for dinner in a little restaurant there.  It is a sunny day, I got out of bed at the very reasonable time of 8.10am, and I am feeling good.

I have been looking for inspiration on Pinterest, and have found several things I might have a go at.  One which is really appealing to me at the moment is something called Zentangles – it is a form of doodling, where the spaces in a drawing are filled up with repeating patterns.  I have ordered a book to teach me how to do these – I gather they are supposed to be meditative – they are small, so they don’t take too long, and the repeated patterns help clear your mind.  I am looking forward to giving it a go!

This is an example of a zentangle, by Heidi Pickels: