As usual, my feelings of achievement/positivity etc seem to centre on whether or not I have managed to do some normal household task or other – and today, I have! Not only is the kitchen looking clean and tidy, but I have also roasted a chicken, peeled the potatoes and got them on to boil, and have sliced onions and bacon lardons frying gently in the chicken fat – all of which will be assembled into chicken and bacon stovies for supper tonight.
It is just so much better when I do manage to motivate myself to do these things earlier in the day rather than later. When the potatoes are cooked, I am going to have a late lunch, and I know that, once I am sitting on the comfy couch, in front of the tv, with my crochet/knitting and iPad to hand, I am going to struggle to get up and get going on food preparation – and now I don’t have to. And I am trying to incorporate this lesson into everyday life – so that I do this more often, and don’t end up at 6pm or 7pm, dragging myself reluctantly to the kitchen, to assemble a meal that will be later than it should be.
I slept better last night – and I know that that helps, when it comes to motivation etc. I seem to be doing OK with the reduced dose of citalopram too – though it is early days yet. I have ordered a repeat prescription from the GP, for my previous dose, 40mg, which is what is in my records, rather than going in to see the doctor and discussing it all with him – that is where my motivation flagged and failed, I am afraid. Anyhow, I feel I know enough, after so many years on the wretched tablets, to be able to start reducing the dosage safely on my own. I’m taking it very slowly – more slowly than last time, when I did it under the GP’s guidance, and I am sure that will be better.