Having a bad day.

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I’m tired, I’m not eating sensibly, I’m not caring about my diet or my weight, and I have a dull numbness inside me – allied to a feeling of deep hurt, from what N said to me.  I don’t know what to do about this.  

I’m also feeling worthless, and disgusted with myself.  I am so good at hearing the negatives about myself, latching onto them, letting them eat into me.  I know this, and I know it is in my power not to let this happen – but for the life of me, I don’t know how to do it.  I laughed recently at a ‘damning with faint praise’ email that my mum sent me, critiquing my felt picture – as I said in an earlier post.  But what N said, can’t be laughed off or laughed at.

Bottom line is that what he said is going to be with me forever – I am going to have to learn to live with it, but I don’t know how, at the moment.

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About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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