Laughter – and sadness.

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We laughed a lot at knitting group this morning – it is one of the joys of that group, that we share so much laughter!

I am very tired, though – and I can’t think of anything else to say.  Except that I had a very emotional discussion with N last night.  I know I am being unfair to him – there is so much that he does, that I should be doing, and he does it all to support me and help me.  Maybe I am a lazy cow who is taking advantage of him – I don’t know.  All I know is that I struggle to find the motivation to do the simple things – and when I run out of ‘get up and go’, that’s it, I can do no more.  Which is unfair on him and the boys.

Maybe they would be better off without me.  Or maybe things will gradually improve – I am off the antidepressants, and I am doing more exercise – maybe I will recover more, and be able to do more.  I just hope they can stick it out until then.

So it would appear that, despite the friendliness and laughter of knitting group, I am actually having a bad day.  Bugger.

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About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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