There may be a light at the end of the tunnel.

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I am feeling a tiny bit better.  Not hugely so – I still want to hole up at home, with my knitting, and the internet, and the tv and lots and lots of chocolate and carbs, but I did manage to make myself go to the gym on Tuesday – sadly the fitness suite was shut, so I turned round and came home again – but at least I tried.  And not only did I go to feltmaking group yesterday, but I didn’t have that inner battle where I want to find a reason not to go, and have to force myself to go anyway.  I didn’t exactly look forward to it, but I didn’t dread it either, and that is a positive step, I believe.

Choir was also better this week – partly because we didn’t do so much of the Barber, which I hate, and partly because I didn’t feel as if I was floundering in a sea of unreachable, unknowable notes that I should know.  It is the choir AGM next week, so no singing – but I will be sitting firmly on my hands so as not to volunteer to become the secretary (the lady who was secretary last year has left the choir) – or anything else on the committee, for that matter.  I know that if I join the committee again, I will just get very stressed about whatever responsibilities I take on, and that will not be good for me.  

On a positive note, my knitting is coming on well.  I am knitting a waterfall cardigan, in cerise pink yarn with sequins on it – which will go over my maxi dress for the nursing reunion dinner in October.  If I carry on as I am doing, I may even get it finished before the end of the month – that would be a real achievement!

I am going to be organised this morning.  I’m going to drag myself away from the computer, and make the bolognese for tonight’s supper – then I can spend the afternoon watching tv and knitting, with a clear conscience.

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About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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