Something positive to say at last – hurrah!


After last week’s post-rehearsal meltdown, I was slightly apprehensive about last night’s rehearsal.  In fact, I almost wimped out of going – using my current nasty cough and cold as an excuse.  But I felt that, having made a bit of a scene, and given that the conductor had said he would modify the way he rehearses us, I had an obligation to go – and so I made myself go.  That is one positive thing.

And then, the rehearsal went really well indeed (despite a few occasions where the singing set off an irritating cough that made my eyes water) – and I came away really happy, and feeling as if I had got a good grasp of the new piece we had learned.  Not only that, but I felt that I was starting to get a good grasp on the interpretation too – because I had had enough time to get the notes in my head first.  It is such a huge relief to get back to enjoying choir again, as it has been a bit of a struggle for a while now.  This term was difficult because of the new rehearsal style, and last term was a struggle too, because of one piece we were performing, which we were really not getting to grips with (and which eventually was cut down severely for the final concert, to just the last movement of the piece, rather than the whole thing – it was the Stravinsky Symphony of Psalms, by the way).

Then this morning, N ordered a taxi to take him to the airport, instead of me getting up to drive him.  I had had a really bad night’s sleep – mainly due to the cold and cough, but partly due to him leaving the bedroom door partly open, so it squeaked and banged, and also him leaving his playbook the right way up, so I could see the red light on it flashing.  I know it is stupid, and other people can sleep through these things with no problems at all, but sometimes the smallest things can keep me awake – or maybe it is that it’s my worry about insomnia that gives these things a significance that isn’t real.  Somehow I have got it into my head that I can’t sleep unless the room is as near totally dark and completely quiet as possible, so that anything that stops the room being totally dark or completely quiet has a disproportionately bad effect on my sleeping.  And I know it is daft, because I can fall asleep on the couch, in daylight, with the tv on – go figure!


About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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