Rounding up the missed days.


I haven’t managed to post here since Saturday – partly because my mother in law is staying, and so we have been focused on doing things with her, and partly because, as she is sleeping in his room, no3 son is sleeping in the office, so I can’t get access to the computer as readily as normal.

We have had some good times with MIL – although she is not looking at all well. She has lost a lot of weight, and is much slower, and has a lot less energy than she did have even after the surgery. If she carries on declining this rapidly, we may not see the year out with her. We have had some conversations about end-of-life care, and what she wants for her funeral, and I have promised that whatever we can do, to ensure that she gets what she wants, we will do. Even if that means me going to stay with her and look after her for some weeks, or taking on archdeacons to ensure she gets the service she wants and he doesn’t take over (something she fears).

It has been a bitter-sweet week. I am not at all sure that she will come up to Scotland again – the journey was very stressful and tiring for her this time, and that will not get better, I am afraid.

On a lighter note, though, our eldest son is 21 today – it seems like only yesterday he was born – and now he is inches taller than me, living away from home to study law, and has grown into a thoroughly admirable young man. I couldn’t be more proud of him.

This week has been mixed for me – the emotions of seeing my MIL looking so unwell on one side, and the pleasure of her company on the other, plus the fact that I am (finally) starting to sleep better. I would probably rate today 7/10, which is pretty good, actually!

I have to go and make a cake for No1 – he has asked for a chocolate cake with coffee icing, which will be delicious. I am going to make coffee cupcakes with coffee icing too, as my MIL can’t eat chocolate – this way she will have something she can enjoy when we cut the cake. But first I am going to take advantage of the fact that N has taken his mum out for a drive round the areas she remembers from when she lived up here, and then for lunch – and I am going to mess around on the computer for a while!

I love having my MIL here – I enjoy guests – but I get quite stressed if I don’t get some time to myself – I am so used to being alone in the house (when the older ones are at Uni, the youngest is at school, and N is at work), and I love that solitude – but I am not getting much of it at the moment – all three sons are still on their summer holidays (No3 goes back next week, but the other two are here until late September), and the lack of peace is stressing me out a bit. I will have to think of some way I can get a bit of time to myself, and some way of making the best use of that time to relax and unwind.


About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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