A bit of a breakthrough.


I was lying in bed last night, with that awful, dark feeling pervading my brain, and miserable thoughts about my failings, my weight, the likelihood that I will always feel this way spinning through my head – and all of a sudden, I remembered what I have been taught about moving negative thoughts aside, basically acknowledging them but then moving on, and also a visualisation I did at my last therapy session, to do with changing the pervading colour of my mindset – you picture your mind and look at the colours – mine was very dark at first – and then you consciously bring in brighter colours, ones that lift your mood.

I tried doing this, but with a bit of a difference – the main feeling for me was that my mind was weighed-down, heavy, and so I did some deep breathing and concentrated on making my mind feel lighter – and it worked! The negative feelings didn’t go altogether, but there was a real improvement. In fact, I am having the same heavy feelings now, and am doing the same thing – and it is working again!

This is giving me some confidence that I will be able to carry on improving once therapy finishes (I only have two or three sessions left).

I do feel better than yesterday (it helps that it is a lovely, sunny day) – probably a 5 or 6/10. And clearly what I need is to spend some time in mindful meditation, clearing my head and lightening my mind.


About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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