We’re nearly at the end of a stressful few weeks – the Commonwealth games were stressful because of all the comings and goings, and the late nights when No 1 and No 2 were coming back from their shifts of work/volunteering. Then my mother in law visited, which was stressful because of her illness, and how much she has deteriorated since I last saw her – plus we also had some discussions about end-of-life care and funeral arrangements, which, whilst positive, were not happy discussions to have.
And now my father in law is visiting. He is a nice man, but very deaf, and lives in his own bubble – we get a running commentary of everything that occurs to him, and then we have to repeat our answers louder and louder until they get through – or N answers his father’s questions or points, and then I have to repeat them, because I have the volume and clarity to get through to his dad. And it’s no-one’s fault or blame, but it does make life so much harder.
But on the plus side, No 1 son told me yesterday how much of a difference he can see in me – it’s hard for N or I to see changes, because they are gradual and we are here every day, but No 1’s been away at university, so has seen a step-change in my mood and motivation. This was a really positive thing to hear!
Today I do feel good – probably at least a 6/10, maybe even a bit higher. I slept not too badly, despite the hot water tank overflow waking me up, and I feel lighter in my head. Therapy went well yesterday – my therapist thinks I would make a good counsellor myself, and that I should be looking for things to study that will use my mind, because I have a good brain. And I listened to all that, and accepted it without depracation – which is another step forward for me.
Today my father in law and his lady friend have gone out sightseeing in Glasgow for the day, so we have a bit of a respite. I feel bad that we need respite, but it is not easy having guests, and I know I struggle if I don’t get some peace and some head-space – and to have guests for two weeks out of three is bloomin’ hard work – even though they are all lovely people.