Fucking knackered.

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Sorry for the sweary word – but I am so bloody exhausted. I slept badly again last night – and was awake early this morning, so I feel like total shite. 2/10 physically, at best, and 4/10 emotionally. I am in a bit of a state, to be honest. My friend has gone, and though I love her, and she is so caring and motivating, I am just so worn out by her visit. And she’d be devastated if she knew – and it makes me such a mean, ungrateful bitch too. We’ve had such a lovely time – we’ve been out and visited a local NT property, and she’s got me motivated and we’ve painted the kitchen, as I previously told you, and we have had lots of great conversations and put the world to rights. But I live my life at such a slow pace, normally, that keeping up with her has done me in.

And feeling that way makes me feel as if I am the worst person, the worst friend in the world. I know she wouldn’t want me to feel like that, and she loves me as I am. And we didn’t do anything that wasn’t good and positive and fun. Maybe if I was sleeping better, I would have enjoyed her visit and have been able to keep up.

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About sdtgcraftygenius

I'm in my late forties, mum of three teenage boys, living near Glasgow. I've been a nurse, studied politics and music at university, and now I am a stay-at-home mother. I've suffered from depression for many years (only recently diagnosed), and take antidepressants daily to keep me on a manageable level.

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