I was very down when I posted my last entry. To be honest, I am still pretty depressed – I am going to ring the insurers to find out what I will need to do, in order to get more therapy sessions authorised.
I am sleeping a bit better, at least – I feel like I am sleeping more deeply, though I still take too long to drop off, and wake up earlier than I would like. But it is an improvement, and I am glad of it.
Emotionally, I am probably a 3/10, maybe a 4/10. And what I need, in order for my mood to improve is entirely outwith my control – because it is a NO vote in the referendum – or at the very least, knowing that Scotland has voted Yes – at least then, we know what is happening, and can start dealing with the consequences. I just can’t wait for next Friday (or Saturday, depending on how long the count takes), so that we have some resolution to this whole thing.
I am quite fearful that some of the Yes campaigners will be really angry with those of us they know voted No, if No wins – I think it could get really ugly. Most of my friends are No voters, but I do know one group of really committed Yes voters. I did ask, in a general way on FB, how people were going to cope after the result, given that either way, a substantial minority of the population are going to feel truly hurt, whatever the result – if Yes, then people like me are going to feel our nation is being ripped apart, and our views have been ignored, and if No wins, then the pro-independence people are going to feel they are being forced to remain part of something they dislike intensely. Either way, I don’t see how that can end well. One of my Yes friends said something along the lines of us all having to move forward into a brave new world – but I am pretty sure she is convinced Yes will win, and that it’s the No voters who will have to do the adapting and moving forward – I am not at all sure how she will feel about adapting and moving forward if there is a No vote. I think that might stick in some craws, for sure.
Anyhow, I do feel better – a bit – and I am going to put on my Big Girl Pants, and phone the insurers (I am very bad at doing stuff like this – even a simple phone call can seem like a logistical nightmare, and I am very good at avoiding these things for far too long).