I knew I had missed a few days – I didn’t realise how many it actually was!
I had to go to the GP this morning – I told him about the dizzy/light headed spells I have been having, as well as the fast pulse, constipation, tiredness and peripheral neuropathy – and that I wondered if it could be B12 deficiency. As I suspected, he wants to test my blood sugar again – it seems as if the medics can’t see a fat person without assuming that their No1 problem will be type 2 diabetes – and if they don’t have it yet, you just have to keep on testing, because they are BOUND to get it sooner or later. So far they have been wrong, and I hope they will be this time. He did also agree to test B12, kidney and liver function, FBC, and thyroid function (both TS3/4 and TSH) so it is worth doing. As my mum has hypothyroidism, and I have a number of the symptoms (dry skin, thinning hair, tiredness, loss of mental acuity and depression) I have always wondered if I am developing it too.
However, all that aside, things are going pretty well. I had contacted my insurers to discuss extending my therapy, and had done what needed to be done to set the wheels in motion – but when I saw my therapist last week, we decided that I actually don’t need any more than the current sessions, and it would be better to keep the extra sessions in reserve in case I need them at a later date. So the next session will be the last full session of therapy, because the final one is partly a round-up and paperwork session. I feel pretty positive about this.
My homework for the fortnight is to write out the tools and techniques that I have found particularly helpful in tackling my depression – things like mindful breathing, doing a body survey, learning to focus on the here-and-now, and to acknowledge intrusive thoughts before going back to the mindful breathing/body survey/whatever. Also being kind to myself – reframing harsh or unkind thoughts that I have about myself and my activities/person/health/etc into kind thoughts. Then there was visualising the depression as a weight in the bottom of my skull – a weight that I could visualise getting lighter and lighter. Mindful eating has also been somewhat useful, though it is something that requires more practice to become more effective.